♡~☆~♡

ยק๔คƚє: I feel like every year I come back at least once to look at all the things I did on this site. My blingees, my interactions with other people, the things I would put under all my descriptions, comments, etc. I was so young and naïve. 

A lot of stuff looking back makes my cringe,  especially when I typed LiKe ThIs BeCaUsE i ThOuGhT iT wAs SoO cOoL. Geez, that was exhausting to type. 

I started on this site back when Myspace was still a thing. When I was around 11 or 12. I grew up on this site until I was around 15. What was I even doing? Those were some of the darkest years of my life where I struggled with fitting in and acceptance from others. I was immature, sad, lonely, obsessive, annoying, and trying to discover who I was. But I was still a child. Children usually aren't very mature at 13, at least in my case. 

Looking back, I see a girl who just wanted to desperately make and keep so many friends so she could feel loved, accepted, and appreciated. Now that I'm older, I've learned that i shouldn't depend on others to feel that. I wish someone had told that I needed to love myself first to be happy. I really did not like who I was. I'm still learning to love myself,  and trust me it's not easy. But I can say that I definitely like myself more then when I did then. No child should ever feel like they need other's acceptance and love in order to feel like they mean something in this world. I've matured so much these last 10 years. I documented my middle school years on this site and it's crazy to see where my mind was at during those times. I'm glad that I did. 

This page hold so many fond and happy memories, but also many sad ones.  I made friends, mistakes, bonds, and regrets, but I have learned from each one. I didn't know what I was doing back then, but now I know why. I wanted to fit in so badly because I didn't have my own identity. It's been a long journey of self-discovery. I still don't know who I am entirely, but I am closer to it then I was back then. Maturity comes through experience and age, and that is something I've learned that I would have never thought of back then.

I imagine that many people's stories on here are similar to mine. You are not alone. I know that's cheesy, but trust me there is always someone there to listen. If you feel like you don't have someone like that that in your life, I can be that person for you ♡. I know it's hard, and very scary to express your emotions to others because you feel like no one will ever understand or because they might judge you. I know what it's like, and I wish everyone had that person in their life where they felt comfortable enough to pour their hearts out without fear of rejection, judgement, or ridicule. It's hard, I know. But if you never try, you'll never heal. 

I'll leave my socials below, if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to or just chat, I'll be there.


name: les
birthday: nov. 4, age XXII
mood: yee yee 

.♛cersei is my queen♛. 

my favs:
Game of Thrones
Demi Lovato
Billie Eilish
The Beatles
Panic! at the Disco
Pretty Little Liars
Melanie Martinez
Heathers
Queen
Harry Potter
Fall Out Boy
American Horror Story

Socials:
TWITTER-xxPanacea
INSTA-lexsielaa